wee rant

Can I just say. Flying. What a perfect nuisance the entire experience is. The inordinate amount of time you spend lingering around the airport beforehand, the indignities of the security check, the being sqidged in far too close to random strangers (some of whom, horrors, are even chatty), the anxious melee at the baggage scrum after you’ve walked too many miles to find it… It was once an exciting, luxurious highlight of childhood holidays, and now just such a chore.

That is all.

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9 thoughts on “wee rant

  1. I hear you. I dread it now, especially those transatlantic jaunts with the kids. If I had any confidence that the whole security thing was worthwhile then it might be more tolerable, but it’s all theatre.

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  2. Security is absurd. They are incredibly rude and I hate that tense, frightened, ‘I know I haven’t done anything wrong but I know you think I have’ atmosphere. And ritual confiscations of miniature quantities of liquids. Can’t even begin to contemplate flying with kids. But the bus … I’d take the train over the bus any day.

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  3. I enjoy the complete abdication from responsibility. I queue here. I queue there. I put down my heavy suitcase and it magically reappears at the other side. (Who knows what mysteries it experiences in the hold? Who knows what tales it could tell if it could talk?) I take off my shoes, walk through magic doorways and am patted all over by attractive, employed people, usually women, which in other circumstances would be entirely against religion but, as I have abdicated all responsibility, it cannot be my fault. Then I sit about with a coffee, racially profiling my fellow travellers and being racially profiled by them in my turn. Then I queue again. Then I sit on the plane and open page 1 of the novel that will get me halfway across the Atlantic. My duty free gin gently rolls beneath my feet. The most exciting part is the take off and the landing, for that is normally when the worse could happen. This means I say an Act of Contrition and the Creed on take-off, and and another Act of Contrition and the Creed on the way down. I think it would be good to perish while saying the Creed, if possible.

    The most important thing is always to have someone to meet you on the other side. I speak geographically, but I suppose there are also theological implications.

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  4. Well said, Cath. (And all.) What a bleak mark on our progress as a species.

    The advantage I now enjoy living closer to family (Eastern US is closer to Western Canada than UK is) is small recompense for the fact that, if anything, US airport security is even more dehumanizing than UK or Canadian. (It may be the love of home, but I always feel Canada comes off better than the other two in this regard.)

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  5. An Act of Contrition is when you say, in words many, many other Christians say, that you are truly sorry for having offended God with your sins, not just because of hell, but because God is truly good and deserving of all your love, and you pray that with His Grace you will sin no more. Which you definitely won’t if the plane crashes as you say that. But it is a very good idea to repent and believe the Good News right at the moment of death, n’est-ce pas?

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