Colin Hansen eat your heart out

This latest from Seraphic is too perfect. Gotholic. It’s even funnier after reading Hansen’s Young, Restless, Reformed. Journalistic for its own sake, pitched at secular audiences who couldn’t care less, reducing everything to superficial sociological observation, resolutely noncommittal on the doctrinal/practical rights and wrongs. Brilliant.

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6 thoughts on “Colin Hansen eat your heart out

  1. Seraphic’s spoof:

    >> “St. Francis of Assisi was a Goth,” says Hildegard with conviction. “I mean, this is a guy who called Death his Sister. And he embraced poverty as his bride. You don’t hear about embracing poverty any more. It’s all about eliminating it. Well, come on. Me and my friends totally embrace poverty to do our thing. And mortifying the flesh! Look, when St. Francis felt temptations, he didn’t go to a shrink or nothing to tell him it was okay. He went and rolled in the rosebushes. The rosebushes! Roses, thorns-—okay, that is so totally Goth.”

    Hansen in all seriousness, interviewing “another Reformed rapper”:

    >> “One of the mantras in hip-hop is ‘represent.’ Be proud of who you are. Stand up. Represent your clique, the group of people you hang out with. Be bold and in your face about who you are. For us, we take the same idea and say, ‘Represent. Don’t be ashamed of the gospel. Represent the Lord Jesus Christ.'” This idea has crossed over into the popular lexicon with the catchphrase “Keep it real.”
    Believe it or not, hip-hop’s mainstream popularity tells us something about the resurgence of Calvinism. Like hip-hop, Calvinism taps into a universal youthful longing for community. Conversion stories reflect shared experience despite diverse circumstances. Aiding community, Calvinism’s five points compose a clear rallying point. Arminianism represents such a broad spectrum that its tenets cannot similarly unite a movement.

    ROFL

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  2. Cringe. And there’s much, much more where that came from. Still mostly N. American though, to the quiet relief of most dour Scots, who are not that into universal youthful longings the last time I checked.

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  3. Doubly embarrassing: if Calvinism boils down to 5 points, it was only ever in response to Arminius’s 5 points, so what was that about such a broad spectrum again? Simply woeful.

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